30 ways to scare all customers

Do you want to know how a freelancer can find new clients and not lose proven and regular customers? And who doesn’t want to, you ask? But, unfortunately, working on free bread, mistakes are complicated to avoid. Especially at first, when the world of freelancing seems so strange and incomprehensible. And you can be wrong without even knowing it.

We’ve put together 30 proven ways to scare your customers. If you recognize yourself, do not be upset and conclude to not step on the same rake next time.

  1. Respond to all projects that catch your eye without reading the conditions and TK. Do not even try to delve into the idea, just post the same applications for each task, then figure out if the stars converge, and the customer will choose you.
  2. Let’s have more information that is completely unrelated to the project. Let the customer suffer, determining how you can be useful to him in a particular case. Do not forget to specify such important details as your weight and favorite dish.
  3. Make template appeals for the application by type: “Ready now”, “I will do”, “No question”, and even better – just put a plus. The client will immediately understand that you are a harsh freelancer, “without raisins”, which is no different from the other two dozen. That’s right, standing out isn’t good, so no personality in the responses.
  4. When you answer the application, try to write to the customer wherever possible: by mail, skype, viber and personal. There should be many, many of you. The more you declare yourself, the sooner you will cause persistent rejection in the customer.

5. Add to the portfolio all the works that only you have, even if they do not say anything about your professionalism. The more, the better. And it does not matter that here you will post even the most unsuccessful of your projects, let everyone admire, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

6. Make as many grammatical errors in the text as possible. People like spontaneity. Let it be immediately apparent that you do not know how to use a simple spell checker. So, most likely, you will not be able to fulfill the order professionally either.

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7. Disappear as soon as you take a new project. Please do not respond to messages and calls. Let the customer be apprehensive. It is functional.

8. Never write first. Let him be nervous and not sleep peacefully. After all, it’s him who needs a project completed on time, not you.

9. In no case do not warn if you have force majeure: there was a flood, a favorite cat gave birth, or suddenly came up with the idea to go to the forest for mushrooms. Do the work when you have the time, not when the deadlines are.

10. Immediately contact the customer on “you.” Why these different ceremonies? You’re almost family people. You can even throw a couple of solid words into the conversation. This will undoubtedly dispose of a person and show that you are on the same wavelength. In general, no rules of good manners, remember.

11. Conduct intimate conversations with the client, devote yourself to the vicissitudes of your personal life, discuss your bad habits. Do you want your relationship to go beyond purely business? Therefore, do not restrain the flow of spiritual outpourings. Share the most intimate, and the client will appreciate it.

12. Deadline? No, you haven’t. You work the way you want, and there is nothing to drive yourself into the framework of some stupid agreements. That’s not why you left the office.

13. Don’t worry if you’re incompetent about something. The main thing is not to give a look and praise your skills as soon as possible. The customer still will not immediately understand that you are not as good a specialist as they tried to show. And when he understands, it will be too late.

14. You should never be ashamed of a poorly performed job. You are an expert in your field, so you can not do badly in principle. And no, the crown doesn’t squeeze. Well, the main thing is that the prepayment has already been received so that you can relax.

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15. Postpone all tasks for later. You are a freelancer. You have plenty of time. As a last resort, you will do everything at once. Simultaneously. At night. You’re no stranger to it. And do not even think about planning your working day. This is the lot of organized and responsible people.

16. Do not engage in self-education. You do not need it. Let new knowledge and modern technologies sweep the past at a reactive speed. You certainly don’t need them.

17. Believe that you are never wrong and do not draw proper conclusions. Never correct your mistakes and shortcomings, be above them.

18. Work at the lowest prices, or better yet, for food. The client will appreciate such savings and immediately respect you. And the job requirements will go down, yeah.

19. Never say “no” to the customer, always agree with his conditions, even if the task is not attractive to you at all and generally does not suit the payment.

20. If you took an advance payment, feel free to score on the project. Money is already in your pocket, which means that you will do the work when inspiration comes, if it comes at all.

21. Modesty is your middle name, so don’t try to demonstrate your abilities and talents. The customer must see for himself that you are a super-specialist of the 80th level, and guess how you can be helpful to him.

22. Forget about old customers, do not maintain any contact with them, and do not remind yourself of yourself. If you have freed uptime, you should not ask, just in case, if they now have a project for you. Or they’ll give you a job.

23. Try not to stipulate the terms of payment in advance. Take the task. Put all your heart and soul into it, and then do not be surprised if the customer disappears without paying you.

24. Have you received an email from the client? Please do not rush to answer it immediately. It is not solid. Keep a pause for as long as possible. A more agile freelancer will reply to him during this time, and you will be left without a potential order.

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25. Let’s make unrealistic promises that you can’t keep. This applies to both the timing and the quality of work. After all, the main thing is to lure the customer by any means, and whether to fulfill promises or not is your matter.

26. Do not rest and do not take breaks—Pachete, aka horse, from morning to night. So you will quickly burn out and fail all projects, which will undoubtedly increase your value in customers’ eyes.

27. Be available 24/7, at night, on weekends, on vacation, during the flight to Mars. Give customers your phone number so they can disturb you over any problem with the project, even if it’s not your problem.

28. If you are presented with reasonable claims, be indignant and try to explain to the client as rudely as possible that he is wrong. Criticism in your direction is simply unacceptable. Little did he expect from working with you. It’s just his problems, not yours.

29. Leave the care of your reputation to other freelancers. Work so that you have as many bad reviews as possible. Of course, customers will still be drawn to you because, on the avatar, you have such beautiful eyes.

30. Suspect the customer of malicious intent and incompetence. Position yourself as an excellent professional who does not intend to listen to reasonable requirements. After all, you understand the issue better, and the client only thinks how to strain you, and even not to pay for the work.

But seriously, do the exact opposite, and then you will not have a break from old and new customers. It’s impossible to be a freelancer and not make mistakes. But they learn from mistakes, grow and succeed. Let’s find and fix them today!


Written by Shubham

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